26 February 2017
SEXUAL ABUSE IN SPORTS
A drop of sweat falls on your back. I sweat terribly during I massage you. I am scared that you will notice it and than, suddenly, a drop falls on your back. I can not help it. It happened and can not be changed any more.
You do not react. Just after the treatment you react. Than you tell me that it remembers you of your youth. You were champion kick-boxing, you had told me and you stopped suddenly as 14-year old champion. I asked what made that you stopped, but you could not tell me.
Now you tell me. It is 15 years ago, but you remember as if it was yesterday. First there was the fear and then the moment of humiliation. The coach that made champions of you and your teammates and organized training camps regularly with young men that should keep an eye on you girls and make you be secure, first abused your teammates with brutal force and no one of the young men dared to stand up for you as they than were beaten up so much that they could not do anything any more and you would beaten up even more and abused nevertheless.
You were always happy that you were not chosen, but after you won the champions game, you were the victim. You were not a match for that adult strong man that the coach was and he overpowered and abused you and made you feel that you could not defend yourself.
The champions match was therefore your last match because you did not know another method to escape this coach and his overpowering. You told your sister, but she was not able to help you to make the necessary move to make that the coach never would be able to coach again.
And I, as a therapist, 15 years later, feel the powerlessness and ask you what happened to this coach and you tell me that he continued to be coach and has three daughters and you hope that they were not victims of their father.
And I wonder what a therapist that suspects such a thing can do if the child does not confirm the suspicion?
24 december 2016
DREAM
I dream about Christmas. Going to church with you and enjoying the mass in G-dur of W.A. Mozart. But that will not be this Christmas. I will have to go there alone.
At your place tropical temperatures and here no white Christmas, but short dark cold days.
A SING ING
A Belgian car comes and two nice women are in it. They talk French and are exploring the place so they know where they can park the car tonight when they come for the concert of Joan Baez.
She attracts people from everywhere that have a mind's eye. Not only people from Belgium are here, but Dutch, French, German and Suisse people also came to join this concert.
Most of them had to wait long to be able to attend a concert of Joan Baez as Europe is a long way from the USA. Not for those that travel by plane but they need to be able to change time to feel comfortable.
During the European night the USA is still having daytime and when the sun is getting up in Europe, the USA is dark and going to sleep or meeting at a party or concert.
For the writer that had been working at night, the concert of Joan Baez was a reason to get up again in daytime and go out of the house to the town where the concert was going to take place.
No more ticket available, it was not a problem to be much too early for the concert and, after having met the Belgian women, see a nice little yellow DDR car from Switzerland that is full with people, enjoying the beautiful weather.
And as the car passes by, one of the passengers seems to be Joan Baez so the writer runs after the car, yelling "Vente! Vente!" and again "Vente! Vente!" (which means "wait" in Norway) and keeps on running as fast as he can. He knows that he must reach the small car before it passes the gate.
He is happy when he sees, that the small yellow, open car that follows a big black car with all the windows closed, goes less fast and stops.
Before the little car leaves again, the writer arrives at the car and takes out a card with his name on it and offers it to the elderly woman who accepts it. The writer tells that he is walking for patients in coma and will not be able to be at the concert because of the failing entrance ticket.
The nervousity that the day before was around and made the writer write, left in the night and did not come again. A red book about healer may have been the cause that the mind's eyes crossed.
And God had even more surprises for the writer. During the last songs, the writer asked for the allowance to have a glance inside the tent, but the guard was doing a good job: no, it was not possible to go or look in the tent without a ticket. A young man that observed this, came to the writer and offered an entrance ticket.
No time to loose, the writer took the ticket of Block A, Row 9, Chair 12, got up the stairs as he was allowed to do so with the ticket in his hand and went into the big tent. He was so happy that he was yelling of pleasure, a big event if you know that this writer used to fall silent if he got emotional.
He went down in the big tent that was full of chairs, turned to the stage and nobody made any protest as he climbed on the base of a column, yelling that he was in there nevertheless. He hopes that the concert was for the singer and her team as healing as it was for many of the spectators.
On the way back into town by bike, the writer was singing and a woman on another bike was also singing as a respons. After a change in the singing of the writer, the woman did not give the melody that the writer was expecting and, as he complained about that, she told she is not musical at all and astonished that she sings now, which made the writer answer, that you can not move if you are not musical.
For people that can not move (so they can not speak either), music is one of the healing acts if it is used with movements. It will not be enough for a patient in coma, he or she needs more: help him or her to
MOVE
normal so he or she will be able to move normal.
