Det er vinter nå. Overallt. Det er kalt, 20 kuldegrad. Jeg kann ikke huske at det har vært så kalt her før.

Det er temperaturen som i Norge nå vi kom hit for å bli. Jeg trodde, at jeg flyttet til Norge for å bli men det ble ikke slik.

Etter 4 år jeg flyttet til Tyskland og her har jeg vært i 15 år nå og det fålles som jeg er på vei ut igjen.

Trygdekassen gjør, at jeg vil ikke bli her. De vil penger fra meg, mye penger. De vil mer penger fra meg enn jeg tjener og jeg vil ikke lenger bor i en land som har slike regler.

Jeg håper, at Sveitz ikke har regler som er like, fordi jeg tenker, at jeg skal flytte hit. Jeg liv allerede i Genève i 1973 / 1974 i to familier.

Første familie var sveitzer familie den andre familie var en engliske familie. Barna snakket fransk og englisk og jeg og da. Jeg har noe med språk.

Norsken jeg lærte i de fire årene jeg har bodd i Norge. Jeg hadde vansker til å finne språket. Vi hadde fjernsyn og kicket franske serie med norske tekster og det hjalp.

Da var jeg ikke ennå helt verwirret men det var vanskelig å finne språket fordi alle jeg jobbet med snakket nederlandsk.

Det gjørde, at jeg fikk bare emosjonelle opplevelser i nederlandske språket og til meg er de erfaringer i emosjonelle situasjoner de viktigste til å lære et språk.

Disse erfaringer er også grunnen, at jeg vil lære et språk. Jeg forsøkte å lære indonesiske språket før jeg reiste hit, met jeg klarte ikke.

Uten å kjenne noen som snakker språket, jeg føller ingen behov til å lære språket. og jeg har fortsatt ingen behov til å lære språket.

Jeg har ikke møtet noen, jeg ville snakke med. Det er, jeg møttet mange elskverdige folk som forsøkte å snakke med meg men jeg føllte det ikke som noe jeg savnet, at jeg ikke snakket språket.

Det fantes situasjoner i hvilken jeg ønsket meg at jeg kunne snakke indonesisk, men det var ikke so viktig, at jeg lærer nå indonesisk.

Jeg tror at grunnen er, at jeg vil ikke reise hit en gang til. En del fra meg vil reise hit og se Ali, Elfie, Fien og menneske som jeg møttet i Jakarta en gang til men det er ikke viktig at jeg kan snakke med dem.

Vi snakket ikke mye, vi bare var sammen og denne føllelse var kjempe god. Jeg er nysgjerig hvem de er, hva de tenker og hvorfor de gjør hva de gjør, men det er ikke nok for å lære indonesisk.

Jeg har føllelse at jeg møttet bare autister som snakker ikke hvis de er emosjonel. Som jeg. Jeg snakker ikke når noe emosjonalt hender. Det er en familie vane.

Jeg oppdaget det på familiendagen etter jeg forsøkte å forelese noe som jed skrev. Jeg hadde vansker til å gjøre det og må, og måtte ha all mine oppmerksomhet til teksten.

Jeg klarte ikke å bli uten TRANEN og det var grunnen, at jeg fikk ikke med, det som hente med alle, som stod der og hørte på det som jeg leste opp.

Så overraskelse var stor når jeg var stoppet. De vil ikke lenger høre hva jeg hadde skrevet. Og da sa jeg opp og sa, at det fantes flere menneske som ikke klarte å si noe. De var uten ord, som jeg er hvis jeg er emosjonal.

Energien i familien har en stor innflytelse????? på våre reaksjoner. Hvis foreldrene er uten ord i emosjonale situasjoner, så er sjansen store, at barna blir det også.

Jeg var et barn uten ord fordi jeg hadde et ulykke. jeg var 3 år gammel og var fraktet til sykehuset for at VUNDEN skulle NAAIEN sammen. Det var i Sveitz. Og nå må jeg flytte dit for å helbrede hendelse.

Jeg er en menneske, som trenger være på plass for å kunne helbrede situasjonen. Tiden er ikke viktig til meg, men plassen er.

Jeg helbreder gjennom plassen hvor helbredelse trenges. Det kan være, at jeg var der før helbredelse trengtes, det kan være at jeg kom da senere. Det er alles greit men jeg m&a være på plass.

Tiden er sovid viktig, at det tar 3 eller 7 dager som jeg trenger for å gjøre det som trenges. Derfor er utdannelser slik de er. Hvis du vet blir 5 + 7 = 12.

Utdannelser er valgt som det er skrivet i websiden for at resultatet er optimalt. Pasjentene må behandles 3x / uke og hver behandling må ha 2 timer og den andre del av utdannelse tar 12 dager.

Pasjenter og terapeuter må ha valget til å fortsette terapien eller til å slutte. I andres kurset snakker vi bl.a. om villen og forbinnelse til personlige ville som bepaler helbredelsesmuligheter.

Til alle menneske er personlige ville bepalende hvis det handler om sykdom og helbredelse. Hvis pasjenter ikke vil helbrede seg, så trenger vi ikke å fortsette terapien.

Vi må høre helbredelses energien og folge den. Det kan betyr, at vi må forlate pasjenten og gi den til en kolleg, som gjør det som pasjenten vil: ingenting.

Jeg var byttet ut flere ganger fordi jeg ville gi pasjenten mulighet til å forandre tilstanden han var i og det var noe, han ville ikke.

Det skulle betyr, at han måtte forandre forholdet han var i, han kunne ikke lenger gi ansvaret til andre men måtte ta ansvar til egen tankene og hendelser og det ville han ikke.

Det tok meg nokså lenge til å forstå og akzeptere, at det var slik. Jeg ønsker, at alle kan leve ånden sind men det er folk som vil ikke gjøre det.

Jeg har forsøkt til å gi folk mulighet til å forandre seg men desverre, synes jeg, de vil ikke. De er redd at pasjenten skal ta over ansvaret og det vil de ikke.

Til meg er det uforståelig at folk ikke gir seg friheteh til å leve ånden sine fordi de er redd at kjæresten skal forsvinne. Hvis de

Parner av pasjenter i koma eller far, mor, barn osw. er spezielle folk. De har makt hvor det handler om pasjenten. De har makt og er redd at de kunne ikke lenger bestimme hva som skal gjøres med pasjenten.

Derfor du finner pårørende som er veldig aktiv i å arrangere terapi, hele dagen uten at de selv gj&oring;r noe. De er ikke BEREID til å la slippe pasjenten slik at pasjenten skal komme seg på beina igjen.

Pårørende må gis mye tid for å vane seg til tankene at pasjenter skal bli expasjent og bestemme for seg sjølv igjen. Denne idenen er til pårørende livsBEDREIGEND.

That is different from what the patient in coma needs. The patient in coma needs big movements. Movements that use the whole range of moving possibility but not in all stands. The movement that is needed is the movement in which all the muscles keep the same function during the whole movement.

That means that the muscle must be in passive or in active function during the whole movement. Therefore one has to be aware of what muscle has what function during what movement!

The patient that taught me this was a very sporty man and he knows everything about moving. I always tried to move but I was in coma most of my life so I am not the expert on this part of life. But I was listening at the right time as this was told me.

The movements that has to be made with the patient so he can remember them again, are for every patient different. We all had our own development and that is what makes this difference.

The therapist has to find out what movement has to be made now with this patient. The patient knows but he can not talk. Talking needs the use of muscles and this use is not possible since the accident, but there is another way of communication possible.

This alternative has to be found to make it possible to the patient to let know what his needs are. We might think we know the patient and know what he needs but the accident has changed the whole system and that makes that his needs are different from before.

The patient wants to communicate and we have to look for the way that is secure and always right and useful to communicate with the patient. They all have their own special expression that can be used as communication.

For one patient it is the closing of the eyes to say YES! To another one it is the closing of the mouth to say YES! or NO! That depends on what you just asked. If you say: close your mouth to say YES, he will not if the answer is NO! So you ask also to close the mouth if the answer on the same question is NO! And he will unless the answer is BOTH! or NONE OF THEM! or ....

The puzzle is enormous. You will never have finished it. But every piece that you find and put on his place makes that the patient will be able to move again one day.

This puzzle is not easy but it gives an enormeous joy if you find out something. You will feel the happiness that the patient has, to meet someone that want to communicate with him.

The patient that wants me to write this I do not know yet personally but is connected with me through a relative that knows what I am doing. I wrote something after we did not speak at the telephone. I am the non speaking autist.

That means I sometimes can not tell what I want to tell. I found my way to solve this problem. I started to write. I tried to read what I had written but I could not. My emotions made me cry so much that I had to stopp. I couldnot read what I had written.

But, time is going on and internet is part of a part of my life too. So, I was lucky, the neighbour was still living here and I went there and sent the letter by mail. That is no longer possible. She moved yesterday and today she fetched the cats.

So now I do not get up to look if the cats are standing in front of the window and pulling my attention. I know that they are gone now. No more cats that come to tell me to get up and move. So, I stay on my chair an just move my fingers in the small movements that are needed to write this text in the computer.

And I get aware of the pain that comes into my back but I ignore it. I want to write! The physical body has to wait! It is the less important to me. I can move if I want to!

The patient in coma CAN NOT! The patient in coma CAN NOT MOVE! The patient in coma CAN NOT MOVE WITHOUT HELP!

Is that clear now? You have to help him! He wants to move. You can try with all the power you have to get him to move and maybe it looks like he is moving if you use a bomb that you let explode near him, it is not a movement. It is a reflex movement. Like the knee reflex that makes the under leg kick if it is hit and the leg is free to move.

The patient in coma needs the possibility to move. Lying in bed gives a bad possibility to move. The legs must be connected to the ground to be able to move in relationship to the ground. By having the legs on the ground the movements are connected to the ground and by that they will be remembered.

The patient in coma is not like a newborn child that has no memory of movements. The patient in coma has been moving before the accident and in his body of movements all these movements are still saved. If the connection to this body is restored, the patient will be able to use the remembrance of the movements to move.

This connection can be repaired by moving in the right speed, the right combination of movements and after making the connection with the earth. This connection with the earth must be made once more after all the movements that have been made to save them in the body of movements to be able to find them again.

It is like searching in the cupboard, finding the right movement, putting it in another drawer, that fits better in this situation and then putting the name on the drawing so next time you find the movement faster because you find the name of it on the outside of the drawer.

A personal assistant would be a great help. This person would learn what is important for the patient in coma and he would get the instruction to move the patient so much, that his system gets used to it again and gets used to remember again what movements it can make. That is one part to repair the connections that are broken.

Another part is the treatment of the connections that are broken. By treating everything that needs treatment, the necessary connections to be able to move will be activated. Through the accident a lot of different connections, interactions a.s.o. were deactivated and must be connected and activated again.

That needs energy treatment because movements can only be made if there is a platform one can use to move from. Without this platform the patient is, as long as he is not connected to the earth.

Like me. As long I am not connected to the earth I will not be able to earn any money with my work. So, knowing this, I try to get connected by walking, not only to church. Today I felt I had to hike and the first car I showed my thumb stopped and I could be with to church in the convent.

I wanted to go there to see if the lady in the red jacket would be there. I would have liked to talk to her but missed my chance the day before yesterday. I met her and was not able to change my changed plan.

I felt so stupid but I had to accept that I had not been able to tell the woman what I wanted with her. I wanted to have a chat with her, I wanted to know what made that she was in Münstertal at that place and why we met.

I was not able to find the right words soon enough so she ran off and I was too slow to follow her. As I followed her I saw her at the top of the stairs going into the garden of the convent. I whistled much too late.

Being the silent autist I am. And so I lost the sight of her. At the convent they did not know who I was looking for. I had been looking in the "to be given away box" that was full of cookery books. I took out the one with receipts of the kitchen of the "Wiener Kaiserreich".

Was she from Wien? Is she back home now? Is she still in Münstertal? Is she trying to make contact? Will we meet again? Will we remember?

Now that has been an experience for me to get aware that I am still not reacting the way I want. That I am still not using the words that make that my intension is not to be mistaken. I had my tea with tiramisu alone and enjoyed the feeling of seeing a light with the regret not having been able to join it.

That is what the patient in coma is doing all the time. He sees all the light we are but can only join it if we move them the way he needs. If we move too fast, it does not work, if we go too slow, the same result.

The speed of the movements is one of the most important aspects of the treatment. All the different aspects need their special attention. Therefore the therapy must be given by someone that knows what he is doing why and when it is needed.

The insurance companies are not yet willing to invest what is needed into the patients in coma so they can come on their feet again. Therefore sponsors are wanted.

My idea to combine my needs with the needs of some patients in coma is an expensive idea. It is a huge house where the patients and I live and 18 nurses and 2 therapists are paid to treat and care for the patients in coma. 3 of them need this much of caring nurses and therapists.

I guess this costs about 12x € 50 000,- a month and knowing that there are people that get € 50 000,- a month on their account just because they are a member of the krupp, stork, unilever or whatever family, I have a lot of faith that this idyotic idea that came into my mind can be to the benefit of the Whole.

Three years are needed to prove that this therapy is working and the insurance companies do not want to do this proof. They only want the result. They like to spend the money they get from these patients to go for a dinner?

My mother did not like to go to dinners any longer as she was about 50 years old. She made a lot of fuss and refused to go to dinners any more. The reason must have been another disconnection,

Not being able to listen to what others tell you, not understanding what the meaning of what the others say is, because you listen to the music that is played in the background, makes that you no longer want to go to dinners where you are expected to talk sense.

I was very astonished as I met a young man that could play the piano and in the meantime sing the song that belonged to the music. I could never listen to the words and to the music. I could only hear the music. The words were no longer present as soon as music came to them. The reason why I had to play the violin as I was 9.

The disconnection was too big at the time I got the violin. So, it is still waiting until I succeeded to reconnect myself emotionally to my mental body. I got aware of the fact that I now sometimes hear what is sung and that is, because I started to sing.

The church music that our conductor chooses is not the most common music and the combination of songs she lets us sing heals the disconnections some choir members have. I love the music and I love the conductor that is my healer. She is not paid for it but for the music that she lets us sing.

I am not paid to sing nor to do any healing work when I am singing, but I am a soul sister of the conductor and always doing some healing work during the repetitions. I am not the only one. The choir is an excellent place to get healing or to give it. God is the divine love that connects us and makes us connect.

We can use this connection or not. We have our free will to decide what energy we want to follow. I want to follow the divine love. If I do so, I feel happy so, at 03.15 in the night I sit at my compu, think of all those wonderful people that help me to make a dream come true.

The dream that all patients in coma will be able to be treated by hpi-therapy so they will get the therapy they need, to be able to move again. It depends on the complications that the treatment before caused how the patient will be moving after 3 years of hpi-treatment.

Nothing can be said about that in advance. The whole team around the patient is responsible for the result and the time that is needed to get the optimal result. No one can be missed. And it can never be too much!

The same counts for the sponsors. It can never be too much. There will always be an electric chair with standing possibility that is needed or a course on CD to learn a language to use the time that it takes to heal the non moving state winning, or the car that is needed to be able to drive with the patient to the grandparents that are too old to travel themselves.

Money takes the world go around but only if you have it. If not, than you borrow a car to go to the funeral in stead of visiting the person at Christmas. You were both alone, connected in the heart but the physical contact was not there and will not be there any more in this life. Sorry, missed chance, not the first one, not the last one. Keep on crying until all the tears are gone and you listen to your inner voice ALL THE TIME.