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h p i - HEALING THERAPIE: O E P

 

AUTISME


 

Land lady

helaas nog niet vertaald...

Today is the day that I discovered that I no longer am here. I am gone with the wind to my next station.

It feels like coming back in Årdalstangen, that first time after I moved to Oslo. It was a very special experience, getting aware that my life had changed totally and the life of most people in this small town still was the same.

Even they, who knew me, had the same life as before. The same mountains around, the same water, the same home they were living in, only I was gone.

To them that was not such an important change as for me, all the friends I made and visited when I wanted it, they were now far away and I needed much more time to visit them.

I did not realise before, that my moving away might have any influence on the lives of others. Now I realise, that any moving changes the lives of others.

I am now drinking the earl grey that I found in the birthday-Christmas-gift that I got. I drink it with milk, remembering my Suisse time and my time in Merzhausen, here in Germany. The connection are the people who are from Great Britain.

They both had a knitted teapot pullover that holds the tea warm. I knitted one for my teapot, after I saw the one in Merzhausen again.

This tea I have not been drinking for a long time. Nowadays I usually drink water. Hot, boiled water. First I had to get used to the taste, now I like it. It fits into my life where: nature PUR! is the slogan.

Nature is my guide. The more I listen to it, the better my life goes. If I feel like sleeping, I sleep and if I feel like working, I work.

So now, since more than a week, I work at night and sleep in the morning. The Job Center will maybe not believe me, when I tell this.

I have been wondering, why I do so. Is it because most people are in bed so there is not that much emotional fear in the air? Or has it to do with my connection to Malaysia and my longing to be there, between these lovely people?

Why am I longing for that energy? Is that energy than the energy here? To me it seems, that the energy I experienced there is an energy of joy, the playing energy I want to live.

Here I seem to be working, not playing. I need others to be able to play. I have met people here too, that want to play but they too seem to be working in stead of playing. Is this the energy of the country or is it European energy?

Germany must have a lot of different energies as it was so long splitted in two. I did not meet many Germans. Most friends of mine have international roots. Has that to do with my being foreign or has it to do with the defensive attitude of the Germans?

I also met several Germans that live in other countries. Why did they leave their country? Why did I leave my country?

To me I have the feeling Holland is too small, too flat and too crowded to give me, what I need. I need mountains with lots of places to explore, the width that is seen from the top of the mountain and the small villages where I can live and feel comfortable.

I met several others that are born in this country that would like to live in Holland, because of its flatness and these foreseeing surroundings. We are born some place to be able to chose if we want to stay there or want to change our surroundings.

The family we are born in and the connections we have with it, are very important in the choices we make. If we are connected in a sane way, we will feel the support of the family and feel free to move around and around.

If we do not know where our place is in the family and do not want to take this place, the family can not support us and we will have the feeling we are not free. We must free ourselves by taking our place in the family and giving all the others concerned their place.

Than the family will support us, we will feel this support if we allow ourselves to do so and we will feel strong and free to go our way into the light and show this light without any restrictions.





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