You called me and I was so happy to get in contact with someone who lives here. I am at this hotel and feel alone nevertheless.

I have my pencil and my paper and all those lovely people in the streets but not the personal 1 to 1 contact. I feel a little bit lost, so far away from my family and now you call me!

It is the middle of the night and that makes this call even nicer. The night can be black.

Unfortunately I do not speak your language and you feel it as an offence what I say. So you just cut the connection.

And so we did not meet. But one of your landsman came to me. He told me all he knew might be interesting for me to know and he answered my questions the best way he could.

I had a nice chat with him and lost my feeling of loneliness. Next day I went looking for you. I found you but we did not talk. The pencil I needed, you could not sell me.

You think big. I could buy 24 pencils but not the one I needed. Well that is life. One sees an opportunity and than is afraid of not getting what one expects so one does not make the second step.

I have been walking a lot. And so I saw a lot. In the bus I sat in the front. I did not see what was going on in the bus as that was behind my back.

I do not like to look backwards.

I like to look forwards.

Sometimes this gives me the feeling of fear and than I know I will make a false decision in the future.

The last time this happened I had this feeling at the beginning of the week. I told a friend about it and did not give it any attention any more. At the end of the week I had planed to go to a concert that was organised by the musicians that gave a course in the weekend that I would attend.

And the morning of that evening I almost got the invitation to join a small bits party but as I told I was planning to go to this concert the invitation was withdrawn. No I should not come but go to the concert.

And, as I am a very obedient girl, I did. I was not at the small bits party and realised at the concert that I was at the wrong place!

I should have been at the small bits party and meet this wonderful lovely generous woman that was having this little party because of her birthday.

Well, at least the feeling of the disaster had warned me. I was not yet capable to place the disaster in the right time otherwise it would not have happened.

My feeling was still delayed. I feel what is going on but I do not realise it right away. This realising comes later because some connections are not functioning the way they should.

These disaster experiences give me the energy to change my connections so I will be aware of my needs and through that of the needs of others. I learn to do what my heart tells me in stead of doing what my feelings of guilt tell me to do.

And so I send a SMS and do not call. You have my number and you answer my SMS. No one called me today, but those people that thought they dialled the wrong number. No it was just right. It made me get up to answer the phone after I had got up to send this SMS.

If people do not want to move than they must do without me. My energy wants to move. A very nice young man offered me a drive spontaneously as I was going home from my shopping in the centre. He knows me because he gave some rides before as I was hiking.

I felt seen and jumped joyful in his car and saw the skis he had in the back. He had been skiing and I knew I will do that too again. My skis are in the container now but that will not be that long any more!

I am on the move again. I need moving to be able to live the loving life that makes me happy. You are a part of this life because you are on the move too. We will meet again. Little bits will have changed but love will support us.