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h p i - THERAPIE


12 days


If I write I feel well. I feel well fed, warm and love full.

I just got myself an Abmeldungsformular, to be able to fill it out when I know where I will move to and now I feel cold and hungry.

What is the reason? Will I move to a place where there is no love flowing? Do I have to see to it that love will flow again? Will there be more people in coma than patients in coma? Is that what my next station looks like?

I do not need any paper for the Zoll, do I? The moving company will have to organise that. I will have to pay the rent for the past year and some extra for the more than 75 km that I will be living from Neuenburg, where my furniture is standing since more than 2 years.

It is 33 years ago, month and maybe date secure, that I became ing. I have the right to put ing in front of my name and it is on the dutch account that I have. My mother liked titles and my father did not have a special one.

He was just medical doctor and weledelzeergeleerde heer was what was on the envelopes that came by post. I do hardly get any post and I am happy about that. All those loving people that I owe money to do not send me letters or Gerichtsvollzieher.

They trust that one day they will get the money that they earned. Like I do. I am not working for my money, I am working to make it possible for EVERY patient in coma to move again. That is now my goal in life and that is the reason that I neglect lots of people and their needs.

I just piss off if they do not directly tell me that they want me to stay and that makes that they piss me off so I will have to see how I get a warm and place full of love to stay, with water that can be used to take a warm bath or to make a hot tea or boil the noodles.

I am still not the person that dares to ask others directly if they can help in situations that I come into. The water became ice because the door was not closed. I noticed at my place that it was cold and not getting warmer, but I did not think about the possibility that someone might have thought that he closed the door but that the door did not close.

And he had his hands full and did not look back. Some people do not want to look back. Everything that has happened there is too painful and they do not want to be remembered. And therefore they never look back.

Not in their remembrance, not in physical life either. I discovered, that I come in the right direction, even if I walk backwards. I turn if I hear a car coming. I go on walking in the direction I am walking and at the same time I put out my thumb and the person in the car knows I am asking to get a ride.

Everybody knows what it means if someone is standing at the footpath and showing his thumb. Only few are brave enough to stopp and ask where I want to go. Sometimes I prefer not to come with the driver because he goes in another direction than I want but I am happy he stopped.

That means, that I was seen! Patients in coma need also to be seen. They need to be seen the way they are now. They need someone who sees what he now needs. Formerly he was very active and that part of the patient is ignored. It has been a problem before.

And now his need to move is not fulfilled. As before. He has tried so often to tell what problems he saw and he was not listened to.

The answer was, no time, the others are responsible, I have my hands full already, my work ties me and my time, the rules, the law, the money, and so on.

The patient in coma CAN NOT move and he needs help. This help can only be given by people that are flexible. People that use their knowing heart and follow that, so they know what the patient in coma needs.

I think I need a place where water is flowing. No I need a place where love flows, where the old dishes are washed and cleaned and reordered put back in the cupboard so they can be used again in situations that they are needed.

I need a place where there is the thought of sharing the richness that everyone has. And I am lieing if I say that that place is in another country than Germany. Here too there are places, that fit to fulfil my needs and I am glad that I found them.

Nevertheless these needs are not as important as the needs of all the patients in coma and that is the reason that I have to leave Germany. With pain in the heart, the feeling of loss, I will move to the next place where I can find some more roots that make, that I will even more be able to find the space that must be used to give all patients in coma the opportunity to live their lives.

All those that have managed to survive will show and tell what life is about. Those who are responsible are afraid of this story but time does its work and the story will be told. No more lies can be used to abuse money that is meant to be used to the health of patients.

It is not meant to be used to make people afraid of telling the truth! The truth is known by everyone because the truth is felt in the heart and only if I do not want to listen to my heart I will be able not to tell the truth.

Is it about 12 days being Minister or is it about 12 days Education for Therapists and Nurses that treat Coma Patients?


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