St. Carolus Haus |
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h p i - THERAPIE |
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Native tongue |
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You think that you are the best, but that can not be true, because I am the best. I was here before you and that makes that I know better than you what they need. You came because you thought you could match native tongues, but you can not. I think you English is impossible. Your short stories are incomprehensible because you use words that have totally other meanings to me than what you use it for. I have been abroad so long now, that my language is totally out of date. The date we had I did not cancel, because I wanted to see you. I like you and I do not like it, that I like you. You are so different from all those people that I know. And besides that you like my friend and that is suspect. Nobody is allowed to like my friend. She is my friend and I have the alone permission to love her. And that is, what I show. And she does everything for me, because she loves me. And I do not want you to show me, that you love her the way you love me. I am not jealous, but I can not stand, that you love my friend while I am away. I am away a lot because of my job and I know that my friend is not alone than, but I do not know her friends, so that does not harm me. But I know you and I love you, I believe. And I do not want you to have contact with my friend. Not even when I am not here. She is my possession as I am British. I am a conqueror. Like the type you saw on the door in Indonesia. I am a man and I want to show that. I do not want to be the woman that people think I am, when they see my body. I do not want to be like my mum. I never ever got from her what I needed. And I do not want to be a person that does not fulfil the needs of the persons he is responsible for. You show me that you have needs and you ask me, if I help you and I did the way I could and I know that to you my deed was not as special as it was to me. You think that I have all things that you do not have because you do not need them. I have them to be able to share them with others like you and I expect that if I share them I get something in return. You just take and say thank you and than you think that is it. To you that is it, but to me it is without an end. I expect a clear end. Like a diner or a concert or a walk. And when you come and ask me for even more in stead of the expected diner, concert or walk, you can not expect me to give you what you want. You seem to be convinced that I owe you something? Where did you get that idea? We met long after our first contact. I phoned you because my intuition told me to do so although my head told me that I did not have any money so I would not be able to buy something from you. I was amazed that you took time to talk with me. You listened to my story, the story of my life. The story of the not successful years that I was in at that time. I felt very much enlightened after this talk and I wonder how you felt after it. I guess I will never know. I guess you do not remember this talk the way I do. I remember me sitting at my table, the table that I no longer have. I gave it away after I had to move from Lörrach. I had to move because I spent my entire heritage by renting the place where I had my practice as a physiotherapist. I did not yet treat patients in coma as I was in coma myself. I was not able to move myself away from the building that gave me the idea that people could find me. I thought that I needed this building to be able for patients to come to me. I was not aware about the fact, that there are so many patients in coma that need hpi-therapy that I developed in the last 3 years. The medical world does not believe that it is possible to treat patients in coma healing. That it is possible to help them onto their feet again. They want proof, but they do nothing to prove that it is not true, that hpi-therapy makes it possible to patients in coma to move again. The only thing they do is nothing. They do not change anything so nothing is done. It is like the mouse that wanders around just for walking around, without any goal to achieve. It is like the bank that wants money to get into the account, without being aware, that money is not made just for moving. Money is a material that is invented to help the people to exchange their energy on a level that is clear for everyone. The money exchange level is not an honest level. People seem to think they are worth much more then others. Like the lawyer can get an honorary of € 250,- an hour without anyone complaining and when I ask this amount of money for a 2 hours treatment, people think I am overcharging. My time is as long as his time and my time of study has been much longer than his time of study. Who decides, what is worth how much? Who knows, what is worth how much? Is a building or a painting worth more that the life of a patient in coma? What makes the price of a patient in coma? Is it his decent or his money? His insurance or relations to rich people? Is it money that decides who is worth what? The insurance companies do not do what they are supposed to do. They are supposed to see to it that people that are ill get the right treatment to be able to heal. The insurance companies do not do such a thing, when the person that got ill, got into the state of coma. The state of coma is a state of survival that keeps the system in the best state to be able to move again when the necessary help is given. The best way to help the patient is to move them but no one seems to have time or to be paid to do so. The insurance companies do not pay the necessary needs like an electrical wheelchair with standing possibility that makes it possible for the patient to change his position without help. The insurance companies say that the patient can not handle such a wheelchair so they send a mechanical wheelchair that surely can not be handled by the patient at all. Savings of friends must come together so the patient becomes the neck part of the chair that the insurance company does not pay. Because they already paid one last year. The patient is growing and his body changed because he does not get the right treatment. He is not moved, the way that would make it possible for him to move himself. He is immobilised by the new chair that is ordered because his back has a scoliosis. This scoliosis is not the result of a youth with a lot of lies, but the result of not being moved and he has not been moved because no one has been thinking about it. He is thought that the earth is round, something he has been knowing since he was born as he comes from the sky. He is one of those guys that know what is true and that is the case that he is in coma. He asked for help and was sent to the doctor that has a cupboard full of maps of kids that had told the same story and no one seems to be responsible. No one of the adults takes the pipe and tells the doer that he has gone too far that the game is over and he has to leave. No, the law is not made to protect the kids for the deeds of the adults. The government has made laws to protect first themselves and maybe then the people that gave them the job. Our job it is to point to these laws that are used to make abuse of children possible, every day. Everyone points at the church but what happens at school is put in the cupboard and never comes out. I came out of the cupboard because I do not want to have to be afraid of anyone about the person I love. My love has the same gender as I and I am proud of it. Our love is not to be cut by anyone. No war and no peace will have any influence on this love. No distance and no money either. Our love is stronger than anything so also fear can not change it. It will not change my attitude because I know that everybody wants to be loved and our love will be much stronger if we are together than if we are not. If we are together it will not only be the love of both of us that loves and shows this light to all we meet, but also the love of our combination, of our souls and the combination soul will show love to all those that we meet. And this love will be accepted because it is love without any demanding. We will not have to get anything as we are happy to be together. We had to wait long enough to come together to spend any time on not loving. We know what it is to be alone and not being understood by the beloved. We know that a child needs to be able to speak out and must be protected for the abuse of adults that were not able to heal their own wounds. The adults need help and this help is not the neglect of the fact that they abuse children. This abuse can be everything that makes that the child looses his trust in life.   |
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