I do not remember how the journey from Jakarta to Denpassar in Bali was. I do remember that there was a nice young man that had been very kind to me as I was laying hands on at the bus station.

He cleaned the window of the bus and he talked to a young woman that would take the bus too and came to sit next to me, but as we were to leave, he left too on his motorcycle.

We had 2 drivers and 2 aids who kept the drivers awake and cleaned the bus inside and outside at the bus stops.

I had this very loveful experience at the first bustrip and expected the same. It was not. This young woman that sat beside me did not talk to me the way the woman in the first bus did and I still were not able to talk with the drivers.

They invited me to have the meal that was included in the price but I did not want to eat. I did not feel like being hungry after food.

I felt hungry after love but food was not the substance that would give that to me. The smile of a person or just a touch from someone was what I needed and I got enough of them.

I liked it not to eat. It made me being clear in the head and I felt secure. All the stories about people that get ill on their holiday or get the "expat-syndrome" as I read in an article in a magasine in the Bavaria Café in Medan, have been the cause that I was afraid of getting sick if I would eat something.

I was not aware about this fear and as a young adult I never had such fear. I just ate everything that was offered to me and did not get ill.

But on a holiday in France I got ill. We were on our motocycle heading back for Holland and stopped at a big gasstation with restaurant.

They had spaghetti with meat and that looked so good. I was hungry but felt that I should take something else. As my friend ordered the spaghetti, I did so too.

And 12 hours later we both were as sick as a hound. All we had eaten came out where it could come out. My friend had a weak stomac but not me.

But the animals I had felt in the spagheti with pork were too stromg for my stomac too. And since I am afraid for food.

I know that food can kill because I have this experience. We could not drive home the next day. Fortunately we were at a hotel in stead of a camping so we could go to our own toilet nd use the toilet on the floor.

And we could stay one night longer. We had to, we were hardly able to go. We stayed in bed long and went for a walk the afternoon because we had to be able to drive the motorcycle the next day.

I never felt so weak before nor afterwards. Now I have the experience that i do not need to eat and feel stromg nevertheless and I can also eat and feel strong.

Eating or not eating does no longer stress me. That used to be. I used to get very angry if I did not get to eat at the time I was expecting it. I did notice it but were not able to change it.

I discovered that my pancreas started to work at the right moment so my food would get the best treatment possible. My pancreas now has learned that I am not to trust, but that I do eat irregularly and not "healthy".

I do eat 200 gram of chocolate at one time or drink 1 liter of juice while I do not eat anything else and my system does not complain. It is glad it has something to do.

If I am not eating, I am thinking and that means that my physical system does not have anything to do, unless I am walking or physically moving some other way.

The patient in coma is not physically moving, because he can not move and that is one of the causec that he does not need food. All the food that he gets must be changed into other energy and that is a hard job.

It makes it more difficult for the patient to be able to move again. Food is only healthy if it comes through the mouth. Than the physical body knows what to do with it, but if the food comes into the intestines without having been in the mouth, the body must find anotuer patern to get rid of it.

It is like the person that does not want to feel his emotions. This person might get into an extreme mobility as he can not do and feel at the same time.

By doing so, his circultation has to be very active and if this person does not take time to go to the toilet or is sweating, his body has to store the water he has, somewhere else if the bladder is full.

The doctor give tablets to force the water out of the body and with this water important elements leave the body too. That makes that the whole system gets disturbed and the physical body can no longer function properly.

The person can fall out of his own role by changing his attitude. This will give him the opportunity to experience total different envents which allow him to move a different way.

The patient in coma also needs another behaviour in his daily life. He needs to be moved to be able to move and these movements must be made in connection to the earth. This is learned in hpi-educations to coma therpist and coma nurse.